Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
