There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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