this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
