idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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