We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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