In the future we'll all be gay
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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