just tell him i said nine months
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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