I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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