I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
