She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
is that a dick in a sweater?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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