before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize