either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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