Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
