i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
