She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
