I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
