Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
