She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
