no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize