I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
