i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
