i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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