That's intense
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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