I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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