I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
