Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
