What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
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Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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