did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
