I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
