remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
