Non-Jews are for practice
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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