I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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