Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
