I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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