Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
