i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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