cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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