even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
