I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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