She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
