your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
