morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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