I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
