The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
