bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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