Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story

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(574): View more from Indiana

i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come

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(509): View more from Washington

Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.

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(305): View more from Florida

IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.

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