did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The Olympian is in my bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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