yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Randomize
