Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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