Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
