We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
