I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
