Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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