I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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