he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
