We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
