My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
