my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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